I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
