I hate all girls vehemently.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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