i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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