A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
