wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
