I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
