Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How's work?
Spinning.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
