i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
