omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
