i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
