problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
