I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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