Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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