I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
