At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You pole danced in your parka.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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