he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
