1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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