Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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