operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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