Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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