Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Randomize
