We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sobbing to NWA
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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