I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
