remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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