erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
