butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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