Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
