he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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