I accidentally burped into my bong.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
