There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
