went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
