My room smells like vodka and shame
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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