im six kinds of drunk right now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
