normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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