I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
