I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
