i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
