Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
