After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
