Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
