thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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