yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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