So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
