talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
