I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
