And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
