Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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