I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
