fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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