Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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