we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
